Not So SJ Anymore

I think that it is the human condition to try and downplay things to other people. Colonoscopies? Oh really, they're not that bad. I mean, the prep is unpleasant...but...( voice trails off). You'll be OKAY! Actually, I probably have said that to someone before. No, really, the prep is a bit more than unpleasant. I have two words for you: butt pee. It is as horrible as you think, but you really only have a few hours of yelling "don't come in here" to anyone daring to walk into your bathroom. (Colonoscopies are the reason why most houses should have more than one bathroom. That and  siblings who can't co-exist while brushing teeth before school. But, that's another story.)   I've had Invisalign braces for 13 weeks now. Thirteen long weeks of having to brush my teeth after I eat and drink anything besides water. Luckily for me, I have 64 weeks total, though the nice lady at the orthodontists's office mentioned it might go farther than that. Th...

Back when I was pregnant with my daughter (14 years ago), I had this huge fear of needles. Who am I kidding; I still do. I am (and was) deathly afraid of needles. Now I put on my Big Lady Pants and go to the doctor, dutifully hold out my arm and wish them "good luck." Of course, every single person-whose-job-it-is-to-draw-blood swears she is "good" and will get it "first try." And, of course, there's three or four tries, muttering, conferring with other nurses and rolled veins before they tell me to head over to the drop-by blood lab to let those ladies (who never seem to have a sense of humor) jab me with a needle. I'll tell you this: Those no-humor ladies surely can jab. It might take one or two tries of dealing with my rolling veins, but they get it. Anyway, I used to build up blood drawing in my head so much that my husband would take off work to escort me to the doctor to calm me down. I always made it worse by panicking and having swe...