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Once upon a time, I was SJ. I'm just Rachel now. I've traded in the tall pine trees of Texas for the cactus of Arizona. I love cake. I've learned to like unsweetened coffee. I'm never sure I'll actually like an Arizona summer. 

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Just Like Dexter, But With More Pictures of Kittens

Earlier this school year (as a parent, I no longer think in "calendar" years; I think of a year as August-May.), one of my children needed a shark tooth removed. Shark teeth are basically when the adult tooth grows up next to the baby tooth and the baby tooth does not fall out. They are extremely common in this household. Some people deal with earaches and colds; we have shark teeth. (Fun fact: I hardly ever have had to help with the removal of loose teeth. Dentists have to remove them for us all the time.) Our children's dentist has odd hours for shark tooth removal: school hours. There's a hierarchy of pain + suffering that I consider when it involves missing school. I am not a "sure you can miss today" Mom. We do NOT leave to go on vacation. Therefore, being of the mean parent variety, I insisted my child not miss half a day of school to remove a tooth. So, I brought the child to my dentist. I really like my dentist's office. My kids are now...
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Not That Bad

I think that it is the human condition to try and downplay things to other people. Colonoscopies? Oh really, they're not that bad. I mean, the prep is unpleasant...but...( voice trails off). You'll be OKAY! Actually, I probably have said that to someone before. No, really, the prep is a bit more than unpleasant. I have two words for you: butt pee. It is as horrible as you think, but you really only have a few hours of yelling "don't come in here" to anyone daring to walk into your bathroom. (Colonoscopies are the reason why most houses should have more than one bathroom. That and  siblings who can't co-exist while brushing teeth before school. But, that's another story.)   I've had Invisalign braces for 13 weeks now. Thirteen long weeks of having to brush my teeth after I eat and drink anything besides water. Luckily for me, I have 64 weeks total, though the nice lady at the orthodontists's office mentioned it might go farther than that. Th...
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The Curious Case of the Dog & the Bean Bag

Several years ago, when my children were very little, I read them the Laura Numeroff book, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie." Like many children's books (and TV shows and movies) the premise of this book annoyed me: You give an animal one thing and it will want more and more. Me: JUST TELL THE DAMN MOUSE NO, ALREADY! HE MUST LEARN BOUNDARIES! Anyway, the mouse in the book wanted a cookie and he got one. Then he wanted something else, which turned into desiring another item until the protagonist child nearly goes bonkers trying to meet this mouse's demands. I also have to add that "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and other books such as "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" really don't encourage the fine art of sharing. Why the heck would I give you a cookie if you're just going to end up demanding that I find  fine French macaroons for your pleasure?  Needless to say: We've got a bit of a Mouse + Cookie situation going on in our ho...
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