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Royal Wedding

Once upon a time (okay, several times upon a time), we were invited to a wedding. I threw on my trusty dress I wore for anything that required even somewhat nice clothing and hopped in the car. I have no idea if I did my hair or makeup.

I do remember, however, having to stop at the store on the way to the wedding so I could frantically shop for a pair of shoes to wear. This wasn't a last-minute gig; why did I wait so long? I don't know, but running up and down the aisles of Marshall's, looking for something that 1. I could afford 2. that matched and 3. fit really put a damper on the whole afternoon.

Let's not forget the wedding we went to where I was newly postpartum with my second child. I wore a pair of ill-fitting pants and a sweater that did not do me any favors.

Or the other wedding where I was still nursing but wore a dress that had to be zipped down to get to the goods.

The last wedding I attended was 6 or 7 years ago (I believe). I wore a frumpy green dress to the rehearsal and a floral dress to the wedding. Again, my level of "trying" was a little higher, but still not that great.

In one month and three days, we will gear up to go to another wedding. A wedding I am very excited about: My sister-in-law's wedding. This is the wedding to top all weddings as she is getting married in a castle in Germany.

Now, past experience has shown I'll go into this wedding with slightly-average intentions and get there only to realize I look like a slob compared to many of the other guests.

NO! I am not going to travel to another continent to look like a deranged sleepwalker in the photos. I am determined to look slightly better than decent.

I just happen to have three other people in this house that I want to coordinate with. Well, that's easier said than done. The girl, she's pretty easy. She likes to get dressed up, likes to buy new shoes.

We coordinated our outfits easily.

Now...the boys. At this point, it will take an act of parliament to get them dressed. If one doesn't like the shirt I picked, the other doesn't like the tie. They're both hard-to-fit sizes and have extreme views when it comes to comfort.

My husband is insisting he wants to wear "comfortable" shoes to the wedding. You know, something one could wear with shorts again, later. Nothing says "castle wedding attire" quite like a pair of loafers that look good with shorts.

Actually, I'd let him wear loafers if he'd pick the cute ones and not the ones that say "I do math for fun."

He's pulled up several pairs on Zappos that he feels fit both categories of "comfortable" and "able to wear again." I have to explain that, in reality, those shoes say "dorky white guy who doesn't know that these shoes aren't dressy." They look like the kind of shoes someone would think you wore because you lost your luggage.

I tried to explain that he might as well get a fashionable pair of sneakers (or, trainers as the Brits might say) to wear. At least, at that point, it is obvious he knows they aren't dressy.

I'm not willing to argue or fight on these issues. Right now, we're still at the witty banter stage of clothes planning. At the end of the day, it's just clothes and shoes and not something I'm desiring to bring to Defcom Level One over.

That doesn't mean I'm about to roll over and play dead. I've set up a Pinterest inspiration board for him, complete with links to items to purchase AND outfit ideas. If that doesn't do the trick to get him in line, I might just have to pull out the big guns: A trip to the department store, complete with dressing rooms, Musak and a wife saying, "Just try these ten outfits on and show them to me."

Two outfits in (under fluorescent lighting) and I could have him wearing a three piece suit complete with pocket watch.

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