Not So SJ Anymore

Fun fact: I have a love of 90s music. I really do. Actually, it goes farther than that; I have very specific Pandora stations I have created over the past 8 or 9 years -- 90s pop, 50s rock, 90s country, 80s...you name it. I have Big Band Stations and Boogie Woogie Stations and Frank Sinatra (both holiday and not) stations to fit every mood I could possibly have. I'm listening to the song "It's All Been Done" by the Barenaked Ladies as I type this. (Second fun fact: If I hear too many of their songs, I have the sudden impulse to watch the American Pie movies.) I knew you before the fall of Rome...I knew you before the west was won... So true for my life today. I don't think most people know, as I typically don't share much of my life with, well, anyone, that I spend the majority of my time writing. I have written two full books since my kids started going to school (after homeschooling) 3 years ago. I actually wrote one book completely twice (and then c...

I was the queen of short shorts in high school. Honestly, I didn't understand the concept of dress code and short lengths (to your fingertips, ladies!) and how they applied to me. Here's the rule: Your shorts had to be longer than your fingertips, plain and simple. Every single time I wore shorts to school (and every single time I got in trouble for them), I'd exclaim that "I have long arms and short legs! They don't make shorts that long!" It is true; I do have long arms and short legs. It isn't true that they do not make shorts that long. I just didn't want to wear them. Therefore, most of the time I wore jeans to school, though I had plenty of opportunities of sitting in the principal's office or getting sent home for my wardrobe. Every single one of my friends was capable of complying with the code, but not me. I always laugh when I hear the Mase (90s) song where it says, "I'm the reason they made the dress code." I smile ...

There are several things that have made me give the side eye since I've become a mother to a girl. First, there's the concept of leggings as pants. Not even the "athleisure" type of leggings; no, I'm talking about straight on I can see your pantyline run-of-the-mill cotton leggings. I know it's a thing. It still drives me nuts. The second thing is really something that has bothered me for most of my life-- the concept of aiming a product towards a woman through marketing. Seems to me, recently, that aiming towards women isn't enough; now we must market a product to certain types of women and girls.  We were at Walgreens the other day playing the never-ending game of Things We Need to Do Now That School Has Started. This round involved sports physicals. I was walking down the aisle when something caught my eye: tampons. Not just any tampons, but tampons for "athletic" girls. Would someone please tell me how a tampon could possib...

Several years ago, I was in the teacher's break room at the School We No Longer Discuss. Several teachers were in there, having lunch. I overheard one teacher (a lady who I really didn't like socially, or even as a human being because she was a stuck up B who still wore embroidered sweaters and not even ironically) discussing how she couldn't wait until her kids would "leave the nest." Like...Ugh, I'm so sick of my kids, she said. I won't cry when they leave. (We're not even talking about adult children; these kids were still legally minors.) (Warning: This post goes nowhere. Even I know this.) I'm a bit burned out on life today. Not by my kids, but just everything. Even my therapist is annoying me right now.  Might I point out how ridiculously entitled it is to say those words about therapy? Yes, I know and it kills me but we're keeping it real, folks. Me: I don't want to spend $400 in gas a month to go across town to some activity...