Skip to main content

(Burned) Toast With Buttah

Several years ago, I was in the teacher's break room at the School We No Longer Discuss. Several teachers were in there, having lunch. I overheard one teacher (a lady who I really didn't like socially, or even as a human being because she was a stuck up B who still wore embroidered sweaters and not even ironically) discussing how she couldn't wait until her kids would "leave the nest."

Like...Ugh, I'm so sick of my kids, she said. I won't cry when they leave. (We're not even talking about adult children; these kids were still legally minors.)

(Warning: This post goes nowhere. Even I know this.)

I'm a bit burned out on life today. Not by my kids, but just everything. Even my therapist is annoying me right now.  Might I point out how ridiculously entitled it is to say those words about therapy? Yes, I know and it kills me but we're keeping it real, folks.

Me: I don't want to spend $400 in gas a month to go across town to some activity for one hour.
Her: But you said you have the money! Isn't your well-being worth it?

For $400 and the privilege to drive our pothole-ridden streets at 40 miles per hour 40 minutes each way? NO. I'd rather be miserable. Either way, I'm NOT miserable. I'm just tired of trying.

Today is just one of those days where I'm awake and still asleep. Any sibling squabbles about whose day it is to (fill in the blank) first is lost on me. Dad made up those rules and I can barely keep them straight when my brain is firing on all cylinders (or whatever car analogy fits in here).

My brain isn't a Corvette today. It's a 1973 Ford Pinto with a missing tire and a smell radiating from the backseat.

I'm not one of those Moms who always wishes the grass was greener. I like my life. I love my family. I am at a point now where I seriously enjoy cooking meals and planning things and being involved in their lives. I can plan a teacher luncheon, send sympathy flowers and schedule physicals with the tenacity of The Terminator. I like it that I'm about to use my writing skills to help different philanthropic organizations in town. I like it that we've stayed in one place long enough to plant trees, watch them grow and actually look good.

People tend to misunderstand frustrations as unhappiness. That really annoys the hell out of me. Sometimes I need to remember the saying, "Never complain, never explain" and follow it. I have the "never explain" down pat. I take my licks, thank you very much. I don't try to talk my way out of them.

But...never complain? I need to work on that. Sure, the toast is burned, but we can scrape off (just enough of) the carcinogens to make it edible. If the toast isn't good? Just throw it in the back seat of the Ford Pinto; perhaps it'll help ward off the smell.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Just Like Dexter, But With More Pictures of Kittens

Earlier this school year (as a parent, I no longer think in "calendar" years; I think of a year as August-May.), one of my children needed a shark tooth removed. Shark teeth are basically when the adult tooth grows up next to the baby tooth and the baby tooth does not fall out. They are extremely common in this household. Some people deal with earaches and colds; we have shark teeth. (Fun fact: I hardly ever have had to help with the removal of loose teeth. Dentists have to remove them for us all the time.) Our children's dentist has odd hours for shark tooth removal: school hours. There's a hierarchy of pain + suffering that I consider when it involves missing school. I am not a "sure you can miss today" Mom. We do NOT leave to go on vacation. Therefore, being of the mean parent variety, I insisted my child not miss half a day of school to remove a tooth. So, I brought the child to my dentist. I really like my dentist's office. My kids are now...

Channeling My Inner Kevin Gnapoor

When my kids were very little, I had a lot of trouble functioning throughout the day. I was very young myself and having eight or nine hours with two very small people tended to throw me for a loop. I did all sorts of crazy things to keep them entertained (Painting with pine cones! Sitting outside the library and reading ALL the books we picked out! Riding bike to the pool!) but, still...that's a lot of time to kill. My husband suggested we get a schedule. Have a set plan for every day. Of course, my being the idiot that I am, I took it extremely literally. (Why I have a penchant for to interpret things in a literal sense is lost on me.) From 9 to 9:30 we play puzzles! From 9:30 to 9:45 we color! Things like that. Except...at 9:15 we were done with puzzles and the colors were missing and OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE HERE. Quick, hurry kids, someone snap a picture of Mom so that she looks good in the photo that will make the news. Oh wait, no, I am still wearing a pa...

Not That Bad

I think that it is the human condition to try and downplay things to other people. Colonoscopies? Oh really, they're not that bad. I mean, the prep is unpleasant...but...( voice trails off). You'll be OKAY! Actually, I probably have said that to someone before. No, really, the prep is a bit more than unpleasant. I have two words for you: butt pee. It is as horrible as you think, but you really only have a few hours of yelling "don't come in here" to anyone daring to walk into your bathroom. (Colonoscopies are the reason why most houses should have more than one bathroom. That and  siblings who can't co-exist while brushing teeth before school. But, that's another story.)   I've had Invisalign braces for 13 weeks now. Thirteen long weeks of having to brush my teeth after I eat and drink anything besides water. Luckily for me, I have 64 weeks total, though the nice lady at the orthodontists's office mentioned it might go farther than that. Th...